Your crashing is strictly coming from having maxclients set too high. Your grep showed 62 httpd processes, which means your maxclients is at least 62. The typical suggestion around her is 15 to 25, although with a 4096, 25 is probably a good starting point.
Remember that maxclients is the maximum number of *simultaneous* connections that Apache is allowed to handle. But you've only got four processor cores, there's a point of diminishing returns to trying to handle too many requests at the same time.
So, drop the maxclients value until you're not using up all your RAM (and remember that you don't want to max out the RAM, you want to leave a healthy chunk unused so that it's available for disk caching), and your OOM crashes will stop entirely.
In terms of CloudFlare (and disclaimer here, I've never used it because my volume isn't high enough to justify it), they only cache static content (images, js, css), and since images are what you're worried about, it seems ideal. I believe the free version caches them, but if not, $20/mth for pro is a lot cheaper than the hundreds in bandwidth costs at linode.
Another thing you can do is, if you're not doing it already, enable http compression. This typically has a small CPU hit and produces decent bandwidth savings (since all of your HTML/js/css/etc files are suddenly 80% smaller). It's very easy to do, just enable mod_deflate.
EDIT: CloudFlare actually did a blog post specifically on optimising wordpress:
http://blog.cloudflare.com/cloudflare-t ... rdpress-bl
One of their suggestions is to run your images through smush.it, which is a Yahoo product that essentially just runs your images through a bunch of lossless image optimization tools like pngcrush and jpegtran, and spits out the result. It can often make a decent difference on JPEGs, primarily by stripping out extra stuff a website doesn't need (all the metadata, thumbnails, etc), although it can also recompress the non-lossy parts of the JPEG compression process to help a bit too.
I like smush.it because I can just throw a bunch of images at it, which is faster than running them through various tools on the commandline myself
