Thanks for looking Freedom. Output of that command:
Active Internet connections (servers and established)
Proto Recv-Q Send-Q Local Address Foreign Address State PID/Program name
tcp 0 0 *:9999 *:* LISTEN 1085/sshd
tcp 0 0 localhost.localdo:mysql *:* LISTEN 1167/mysqld
tcp 0 0 localhost.localdom:smtp *:* LISTEN 1503/exim4
tcp 0 300 myhostname.net:9999 customer8181.pool:49237 ESTABLISHED 1664/sshd: user [pr
tcp6 0 0 [::]:9999 [::]:* LISTEN 1085/sshd
tcp6 0 0 [::]:www [::]:* LISTEN 1538/apache2
(where 9999 is my ssh port)
nmap from the box I'm sitting at now (different machine, with an ssh session open to the server):
PORT STATE SERVICE
80/tcp open http
110/tcp open pop3
1863/tcp open msnp
3128/tcp open squid-http
5190/tcp open aol
8080/tcp open http-proxy
I haven't installed squid or exim btw, but I guess exim is in by default and the 'squid' port is part of this unknown open(?)ports situation I've got.
Just in case it's useful, here's a list of all the running processes (from ps -e; this is Debian 5): [edit] removed - nothing to see there, and making the thread too long

[/edit]
And some more random output that might help with diagnosis:
# fuser 80/tcp
80/tcp: 1538 1557 1564
# ps -ef | grep 1538
root 1538 1 0 11:22 ? 00:00:00 /usr/sbin/apache2 -k start
www-data 1557 1538 0 11:22 ? 00:00:00 /usr/sbin/apache2 -k start
www-data 1564 1538 0 11:23 ? 00:00:00 /usr/sbin/apache2 -k start
root 1695 1672 0 13:55 pts/0 00:00:00 grep 1538
# fuser 110/tcp
# fuser 1863/tcp
# fuser 3128/tcp
# fuser 5190/tcp
# fuser 8080/tcp