I'm amazed that after 5+ years you don't have a viable emergency recover plan. Hardware/software/network/people bork all the time, any decent sysadmin plans for such events and has a bare metal recovery plan laid out, tested, and ready to deploy.
What you should be doing is spinning up a new Linode, running your automated installation/configuration scripts, and copying your latest data from your last off-system backup.
Doesn't sound like you have any of those options available.
Oh well, live and learn. Next time, hopefully, you'll be better prepared.
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Either provide enough details for people to help, or sit back and listen to the
crickets chirp.
Security thru obscurity is a myth - and really really annoying.